Crazy KnB's Regel
by weirdgrammar
Summary: This is the side story of Crazy KnB! There are some rules that the Kiseki members and Kuroko have to comply for reasons. Which are mostly because of their own stupidity.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine.**

**WARNING(s): This is the side story of Crazy KnB. Not Yaoi, stupidity, insanity, or anything that you think you can put here. Oh yeah, please use your wild imagination to enhance the effects. I know you guys have a very unimaginable imagination.  
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**A/N: My bro noticed Aomine in Crazy KnB mentioned about a rule that the Kiseki members have to comply. So, he suggested me to write a fanfic about those rules. Oh, you can give some ideas too! Who knows, your rule will be enforced?  
**

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**Regel 1: Always put Tetsu bed early. –Aomine.**

We played a pillow fight together until 3 a.m.

The next morning, Tetsu kept Ignite Passing my stomach.

I couldn't walk for the rest of the day.

I guess sleeping late gets him very cranky.

**Regel 2: Do not touch Akashi's scissors. –Midorima.**

Please don't-nanodayo.

I remember one day Kise used Akashi's scissor for his art project.

Then, I found him crying while screaming hysterically; "No, no, no! Please go away. I'll promise I'll be good! Don't take my life yet!"

And he still screams like that whenever he sees someone try to touch Akashi's scissor.

**Regel 3: Any snacks, but Mauibo! –Kise.**

Murasakibaracchi was in a good mood to share his snacks with us—a very rare occasion-ssu!

Until I said I wanted to try Mauibo.

He gave me wanna-get-crushed glare and grounded his palm on my face.

The next day, my manager, Kasamatsu-san asked about bruises on my face. And I couldn't answer him.

**Regel 4: Do not insult Oha-Asa, not in front of Mido-chin, at least. –Murasakibara.**

"Don't you feel ashamed wearing that cat ears?" Mine-chin asked.

"It's an obligation. Oha-Asa told me it's my lucky item."

"C'mon, everyone knows that fortune-telling is stupid and for kids."

I don't know why, but Mine-chin had bad luck for the whole week.

I swear I had seen Mido-chin nailed a voodoo doll while chanting something before that.

**Regel 5: Do not look down on me. Or you'll die in agony! –Akashi.**

I tried for a day.

The coach asked me why everyone squatted every time they talked with me—that's including the Kiseki members.

It was fun, though.

**Regel 6: Do not tell who your favorite nii-chan is. –Kuroko.**

Because Daiki-niichan had to dodge flying scissors for the whole day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer & Warning(s): 1st chapter.**

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**Regel 7: Kise Ryouta is not Pikachu. –Akashi.**

His fans called Ryouta 'Pikachu'.

Atsushi believed it.

Then, I heard Ryouta's cheeks were almost electrocuted.

Guess who did that.

**Regel 8: No roller-skating around the school. –Murasakibara.**

Mine-chin and Ki-chin tried it.

It was fun seeing them skate around the school.

Until Mine-chin crashed into the Coach.

Hm~ good luck, Mine-chin.

**Regel 9: No high heels! –Aomine.**

Kise brought high heels to school—they were red!

Akashi saw us play with it.

That evening, everyone gave us odd stares.

I didn't blame them though, coz' we both were practicing with heels on!

Don't remember how many times I tripped that day.

Ow….

**Regel 10: No Prince of Tennis cosplaying. –Kise.**

I found out Aominecchi and Atobe Keigo has similar voice and personalities-ssu.

Imagine this:

"Ore-sama no bigi ni yoi na~" says a _tanned_ Atobe Keigo, with red roses falling dramarically around him.

**Regel 11: Say 'no' to 'The Ring'. –Midorima.**

We spent the night at Akashi's mansion.

Akashi told us to watch The Ring—in the dark, too.

As I'd expected, we screamed a lot—Aomine was the worst, he cried, even-nanodayo.

And we screamed even louder when the tv suddenly switched off after the movie had ended—except Akashi; he laughed.

**Regel 12: Do not talk to the mirror. –Kuroko.**

We finished watching 13 Ghosts—again, Seijurou-niichan's house.

On the way going to the bathroom, we—Daiki-niichan and Ryouta-niichan were with me—walked past a huge mirror.

I stared at the mirror and said; "How long you've been inside there?"

The house was echoed with Daiki-niichan's and Ryouta-niichan's hysterical screams.

_(A/N: I did it before in front of my art teacher, the result was… very impressive, you know.)_

**Regel 13: Do not use the Kiseki members as examples. –Momoi.**

I taught Mukkun about the primary colors and the secondary colors.

He didn't remember the mixture of colors.

Like yellow and red produce orange, yellow and blue produce green.

In the end, I told him Dai-chan + Ki-chan = Midorin.

And his response was: "Ara? Mido-chin is Ki-chin's and Mine-chin's son?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer & Warning(s): 1st chapter.**

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**Regel 14: Do not use quotes from movies. –Kise.**

Which Aominecchi tends to do that a lot.

One day, Akashicchi showed him a book and asked Aominecchi. "Daiki, did you draw—"

"—Ok, yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.'" Aominecchi said.

"Okay," Akashicchi stayed calm. "So, tell me, did you draw—"

Aominecchi cut him off. "—So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not! And, dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free! Does any of this make sense to you?"

"Are you done, Daiki?" Akashicchi calmly asked.

"Yeah, fuh! That was long! I wonder how Lily could do that," Aominecchi grinned.

"Then, did you draw these stupid cartoons on my book, Daiki?"

At last, Aominecchi laughed half-heartedly. "I was mistaken your book with Kise's. Sorry."

I didn't see any sign of Aominecchi for the rest of the day.

**Regel 15: Team Rocket's motto **_**is**_** Mine-chin-Ki-chin's motto. –Murasakibara.**

"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!" Mine-chin crossed his arms over his chest.

"AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!" Ki-chin showed 'V' sign and winked.

"TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!" Mine-chin extended his arms.

"TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION!" Ki-chin also extended his arms.

"TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE!" Mine-chin clenched his heart.

"TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE!" Ki-chin held up his arm.

"AOMINE!" Mine-chin smirked.

"KISE!" Ki-chin smiled.

"KISEKI, BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!" Mine-chin posed.

"SURRENDER NOW, OR PREPARE TO FIGHT!" Kise joined him posing.

"Meow, that's right!" Aka-chin interrupted.

Opps~

**Regel 16: Do not let Kiseki read you 'The Last Valentine'. –Kuroko.**

Because it felt weird seeing five teenage boys cry in front of you.

**Regel 17: Take care of your phone. –Midorima.**

I lost my phone.

Then, I found it just before my presentation.

During my presentation, it suddenly rang.

"_OHHHHHHHH! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?_

_Spongebob SquarePants!"_

I immediately answered the call.

The caller said. "What a catchy ringtone, Shintarou."

"You changed my ringtone?!" I asked him.

**Regel 18: No, Aomine Daiki is not a vampire. –Akashi.**

It is understandable if people call Ryouta vampire.

But, not Daiki.

Can you imagine Daiki sparkling?

**Regel 19: Have care what you wish for. –Aomine.**

This rule is enforced only to Tetsu.

"I want to eat Indulgence Turkey cake," Tetsu said.

The next day, the cake was delivered to our house.

"I want Mad Hatter's hat," Tetsu said.

The next morning, the hat was sent to our house.

"I want to go to New Zealand!" Tetsu said.

Now, we are in Akashi's private plane flying to New Zealand.

Gosh…

**Regel 20: Do not insult Pokemon's OST. –Momoi.**

"_I want to be the very best  
Like no one ever was."_ –Ki-chan's line.

"_To catch them is my real test  
To train them is my cause (oooh)."_ –Dai-chan's line.

"_I will travel across the land  
Searchin' far and wide." _–Midorin's line.

"_Each Pokemon to understand  
The power that's inside!"_ –Mukkun's line.

"_(Power inside!)"_ –Tetsu-kun's line.

_**"Pokemon!"**_ –All.

"_It's you and me.  
I know it's my destiny!"_ –Akashi-kun's line.

"_**Pokemon!"**_ –All.

"_Ooh you're my best friend  
In a world we must defend!"_ –Akashi-kun's line.

"_**Pokemon!"**_ –All.

"_A heart so true  
Our courage will pull us through." _–Akashi-kun's line.

"_**You teach me and I'll teach you."**_ –All.

"_Pokemon!"_ –Akashi-kun's line.

"_**(Gotta catch 'em) Gotta catch 'em Gotta catch 'em all!" **_–All.

Because it's Kiseki's OST too!

And please use your own imagination for the choreography.

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**A/N: **Okay, hold your breath. Take a deep breath. Don't die from laughing yet (if you laugh, that is). Last week, I published a new story. It's called 'Encroachment'. fem!Kuroko x (your vote will decide it) Kiseki. That's all. Jane~


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer & Warning(s): 1st chapter**

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**Regel 21: Do not do pranks without Akashi's permission. –Aomine.**

Seriously, I didn't mean it! It was for Midorima! Really!

I thought Midorima would enter first! That's why I placed that water bucket there. Never thought you would come in first instead!

C'mon, black suits you very well.

Wait, wait, wait! Kise involved in this matter too! Wait!

Kise, how dare you leave me alone here?!

Nooooo, AKASHI! Please listen to me!

Don't kill me! ARGHHHHHH!

**Regel 22: Check your role first! –Kise.**

Akashicchi suggests playing Princess Fairies today. He decides what character we will play.

So, Akashicchi plays 'Gretel' and Murasakibaracchi 'Hansel' from 'Hansel & Gretel'—yummy. Murasakibaracchi will gobble those sweets for sure~

Midorimacchi will be 'Cinderella'—I wonder if he could hold the broom properly.

Momoicchi plays 'Rapunzel'—long beautiful hair, indeed.

Kurokocchi is 'Alice' from 'Alice in the Wonderland'—Kurokocchi will wear a blue cute dress! And with ribbon too! Don't forget that!

I will be 'Aurora' from 'Sleeping Beauty'—wondering; who wants to kiss me later.

And Aominecchi is… wow! What?! Impossible! No, no, no!

He's… SNOW WHITE?!

**Regel 23: Just be yourself. –Murasakibara.**

Sac-chin told us getting known of each other better is one of ways to create a strong team. And Aka-chin proposed an idea.

For a week, we must change our hair color.

It wasn't really fair since Aka-chin got Kuro-chin's hair color and Kuro-chin his. Mido-chin looked different with that blue hair, and Ki-chin seemed much cooler with my hair color. Meanwhile, people thought Sac-chin really was a natural blonde. And I really didn't like green hair, yet I had to bear with it.

Well, at least it was far better than Mine-chin.

He totally looked like a ganguro alien with that pink hair.

**Regel 24: Stealing vanilla shake is a 'no-no'. –Midorima.**

Kise stupidly did that on purpose—he wanted to get Kuroko's attention after Kuroko had decided to ignore him due to the vanilla shake.

To make it far worst, he accidentally dropped the vanilla shake.

Kuroko was startled at first, then he suddenly Ignite Passed Kise's… er, that part, you know—Kuroko is too short after all to aim his stomach. Wait, did I say it was an Ignite Pass _Kai_?

His bad luck didn't end there. Akashi played his infamous scissors in front of Kise—apparently, Akashi doesn't really appreciate people making Kuroko upset.

Geez, I'd told him to buy his lucky item, yet he didn't listen to me.

See?

**Regel 25: Choose your partner wisely. –Kuroko.**

After Satsuki-neechan had come back from Hokkaido, I went back to her.

Seemingly, Daiki-niichan's new relationships with walls, trees, and even rocks—while I was gone—weren't very healthy and gentle.

He had a lot of bruises.

Daiki-niichan really can't live without me.

**Regel 26: Do not make things complicated! –Momoi.**

After failing explaining properly about the secondary colors, I wasn't satisfied. I must clear his cloudy mind!

"No, Mukkun, Mido-chin is not Aomine-kun and Ki-chan's son!"

"But, Sac-chin said…" he scratched his head.

"What I meant was their hair colors!" exasperatedly, I tried to find another explanation. "Okay, listen carefully. Aomine-kun's color mixes with Akashi-kun's color will produce Mukkun's color. Get it?"

Mukkun paused briefly before nodding. Feeling proud of myself for successfully clearing his mind, I heaved a relief sigh. A moment later, I heard he ask the Kiseki members—Tetsu-kun was there too.

"Ne, say Mine-chin, Aka-chin. Which one of you is my real mom? How did it happen anyway? How I could get out of one of you? If Mine-chin is my real dad, then Aka-chin is my real mom. Sac-chin also said Mido-chin is Mine-chin and Ki-chin's child. Does that make me Mido-chin's stepbrother? Oh, then, Ki-chin will be my step-mother… or is it my stepfather? Then, Kuro-chin is now Mine-chin's little brother. So, is he my uncle? I'm confused."

Oh. My. God.

Mukkun, what did I do to you that you're doing this to me?!

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**A/N: **Anyone, any rule suggestions? I'll consider any ideas, and of course, I'll give the credit~

By the way, if there're any readers who died from laughing, please tell me. I'll tell Akashi to sponsor your funeral. Please don't sue me! I'm innocent!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer & Warning(s): 1st chapter.**

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**Regel 27: Do not perform an exorcism. –Midorima.**

Akashi had been in a very foul mood since morning. Even worse, both idiotic pair namely Aomine Daiki and Kise Ryouta was late for our club meeting. And listening to Murasakibara's crunching noise didn't help lighten the atmosphere.

The only thing that keeps us alive was Kuroko was there, playing with Akashi.

Then, Aomine and Kise suddenly appeared in the doorway, clad in black long coat and screamed; "Rest assured of what we will do now! We sensed some bad spirits wandering around this room! We've come to rescue!"

I sweat dropped. Akashi will definitely get mad.

Surprisingly, he didn't. Instead, he just smiled and calmly said; "Good you guys are here. Because I can see a girl hovering above you guys. Mind helping get rid of her for us?"

I'd never heard they scream that loud before.

**Regel 28: No more musical box. –Kuroko.**

I loved to play with the musical box that Daiki-niichan bought for me. It has a mirror that spins on its lid and plays a song whenever it's opened.

Until one day, he saw me too engrossed by the box. He asked me, "What is so fun playing with that box?"

I gave him the box. "Open it," as I stood beside him.

Suddenly, a pair of sharp red and yellow eyes reflected in the mirror, staring at us from the door behind us. Daiki-niichan reflexively shut it close, threw it out of the window and hid himself under the blanket, trembling.

I sighed and went to the door. "Seijurou-niichan, I love that musical box…" I told the person standing there.

**Regel 29: Keep your hair short. –Aomine.**

After awhile, Akashi noticed my hair had grown long and offered to cut it. Of course I refused it.

It was a bad decision, really. I shouldn't have refused it.

When I woke up from my nap, I realized I'd gone baldy. Gotta answer my mom's question without having myself killed by Akashi and wear cap for two weeks.

Wait, how come Murasakibara is allowed to have a long hair?! Not fair!

**Regel 30: Dai-chan is allowed to play Assassin Creed. –Momoi.**

Recently, Dai-chan had flunked History.

I tried my best to help him, but to no avail. As the last resort, I told him to play Assassin Creed.

One week later, he got the third highest mark after Akashi-kun and Midorin in History.

Wow, it worked!

**Regel 31: Do not abuse the elevator. –Kise.**

Akashicchi was very generous to pay our vacation. And even sweeter, he had booked us a hotel!

Entering the elevator heading to our rooms, Aominecchi told me that he could make the elevator ride up without stopping.

And, we did it, going up with **everyone** was inside the elevator.

Bad move. We forgot to ask Akashicchi which floor was our room on and ended up rode up to the highest floor, which is 20th floor.

When the elevator rode down and finally reached our floor—the 3rd floor—the elevator was pooled with my and Aominecchi's blood.

**Regel 32: Don't make Sac-chin cry. –Murasakibara.**

"Honey, darling, I'm back~!" said Mine-chin, dressed in formal adult suit.

"Welcome back, Daiki. How was your work?" the skirt Aka-chin wore was swaying as he approached Mine-chin. "I hope your meeting went very well," he said with a smile on his face.

"Of course, honey! You helped me, didn't you?" Mine-chin peeled the suit off his body.

Then came Ki-chin with an apron wrapped around his waist. "Aominecchi, you're back," he took the suit from Mine-chin. He threw his head back and shouted; "Murasakibaracchi, Midorimacchi, your father is back~! Come and greet him~!"

"Daddy~" I called out as Mido-chin and I went up to them. "Daddy, where's my snack? Aniki didn't let me have his snacks."

"Atsushi-kun, didn't I tell you not to eat snacks too much?" Kuro-chin suddenly appeared and scolded me, though there wasn't any bite in his warning since his voice is too cute! "Daiki-niichan, stop spoiling him."

"I agree with Uncle Kuroko," Mido-chin adjusted his glasses. "Dad, don't give him any candy. He's going to get cavities."

"Oh my, our son is so clever, Aominecchi," said Ki-chin.

"Atsushi, listen to your stepbrother and uncle this time, okay?" Aka-chin told me. "I'll give you candy next time."

Mine-chin laughed happily as he patted Kuro-chin's back. "I'm glad I have a very wonderful family!"

Meanwhile, Sac-chin, who'd been watching our family drama, finally broke down and wept. She threw a clipboard to Mine-chin's face and screamed; "Stop making fun of me! I hate you guys so much!" and ran off.

She refused to talk to us for the rest of the day.

**Regel 33: My words are absolute! ****–Akashi.**

Do I need a reason for this?

I'm always win, so I'm always right. Same goes with my words.

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**A/N: **After months of not updating, I hope my sense of humor still could bring laughter upon your life. And to those who're following Crazy KnB, I'm truly sorry for not updating it. I'll try my best to update it by the end of this week.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer & Warning(s): 1st chapter.**

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**Regel 34: Do not bring a bag into an elevator. –Aomine.  
(Credits: My dad.)**

I seriously didn't get why Akashi brought that big black briefcase. Entering the elevator, Akashi walked up straight to the nearest wall without talking to anyone. While others, well, we just minded our business.

We were heading to the fifth floor when suddenly Akashi peered inside the bag and asked;

"Still alive?"

Who the fuck is inside that fucking bag?!

**Regel 35: 'IT'S HIM!' is a taboo sentence. –Akashi.**

We were strolling around the city. It was supposed to be a normal day.

Until Ryouta suddenly screamed as he pointed aimlessly at the crowd and hugged my beloved Tetsuya, looking absolutely terrified; "GOSH, IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! HELP ME-SSU! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME! SOMEONE!"

And everyone started to scream as well, scattering around us, bumping into me here and there. It was a total mayhem.

The urge to stab Ryouta with scissors has never felt so strong before.

**Regel 36: Nerf Dart Gun is banned for good. –Midorima.**

Akashi and I were walking along the corridor.

Then, the stupid duo namely Aomine Daiki and Kise Ryouta suddenly showed up and shot us with Nerf darts.

Of course, I wasn't able to react and was hit in the face. However, Akashi was being his awesome self, was quick to dodge their darts and **instinctively **grabbed his scissors—I didn't know that time and I still don't know now where he kept them—and threw at them.

Fortunately, Murasakibara was there _just in time_ to stop those scissors from plunging into their foreheads.

Always remember that Akashi's aim is undoubtedly accurate.

**Regel 37: No games during club meeting. –Murasakibara.**

We were discussing about the upcoming school festival. Mido-chin was suggesting few proposals while Aka-chin listened to him.

Sitting next to me, Mine-chin took out his phone and played Candy Crush under the table—silent mode, mind you.

Aka-chin suddenly said without sparring a glance at us; "Daiki, just quickly move to the blue gum next to the cherry to the right, you'll get super combo and win the game, so you can pay attention to our meeting."

How did he know?!

And do you guys know that Aka-chin is playing Candy Crush as well? Hundreds level ahead from us.

**Regel 38: No wedding invitation card. –Momoi.**

So, one day, I gave the Kiseki a wedding invitation.

'_You are cordially invited  
to celebrate the marriage of_

_Kagami Taiga & Kuroko Tetsuya_

_Saturday, October of 17__th__, 20XX  
5.00 p.m._

_Four Seasons Hotel,  
300 South Deheny Drive,  
Los Angeles, California._

_Reception to follow.'_

Never thought Dai-chan and Mukkun could scream that loud. They refused to believe me when I told them it was a joke.

I even had to stop Akashi-kun from booking a flight to LA!

**Regel 39: No more ShadowGun, please! –Kise.**

I suggested the Kiseki to download ShadowGun game to their phones.

It's a very cool war game, you know!

So, Akashicchi told us to play together, so we could fight against each other.

Almost 7 hours later, my head felt so heavy, needed some rest. But Akashicchi didn't let me, no, he didn't let us to retreat from the game.

He said with a _smile_ on his face; "So I can kill you guys over and over again without actually killing you guys."

Gosh… what did I do? Why does Akashicchi hates me so much?!

**Regel 40: Do not introduce your **_**friend**_**. –Kuroko.  
(Credits: My waifu, Barton-kun~ His fanfic, 'Teach me!' is awesome.)**

I turned around the bed and played with Daiki-niichan's cicada plush toy. I felt so bored waiting for Daiki-niichan getting our drinks.

And when he finally came back, I turned to him and smiled.

"Great you're finally here, Daiki-niichan. I'm afraid my friend over here is already tired waiting for you," I pointed at Daiki-niichan's study table.

Oh, he ran again.

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**A/N: **Hey there~ Guess my muse hasn't deserted me yet! Since I'm still being bombarded with these ridiculous ideas, I should update it, right? About Crazy KnB, it's still on going!


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